"what do you want me to say" and
"There's nothing i can do also what"
are probably the two most hurtful sentences.
"what do you want me to say" - anything.
just anything. anything that is not hurtful.
"there's nothing i can do also what" -
there's always something that you can do.
even the slightest effort is better than giving up.

we fought again last night, over the slightest issue.
i counted to ten in my mind before i spoke.
i know he has a bad temper.
and its only up to me to salvage things.
since my tolerance level is of god-like level.
i want to be music to his ears all the time.
unfortunately, i cant. although i keep trying.
"i'm not perfect but i keep trying"
i know his temper has tamed down quite a bit.
but when he flares, gosh, the things he say
can be pretty much a stab through my heart.
i know what i've signed up for. so i have to deal with it.
i cant change his nature but i can do something on
my part. to not get on his nerves and to put my
tolerance level to the test.

i wont deny that i had a bad night.
barely slept but i'm gonna embrace today.
i wont wait for a change.
cause I'M GONNA MAKE A CHANGE MYSELF.

i dont wanna quarrel anymore.
everytime we quarrel, i'll just end up going to bed
in tears and have puffy eyes (that look like shit)
the next morning.
and each time, it just hurts more than the last.
i'm gonna mend my heart right now.
paste it with plasters and hopefully,
it will recover before i see you.
perhaps, you're the best medicine.
i hope you're not angry any more.
i miss you.


/ making the first move is difficult
but i hope you see my effort.
i love you.